I'm Pretty Sure Dru Will Fail

You know whats better than making a blog to compensate for a lack of sexual pleasure? Sexual pleasure.

2009-06-12T12:20:00.001-07:00

With only fifteen days left to complete the entire project, Dru meets a 29 year old female who has a thing for older men. Naturally, she takes an immediate liking to Dru and an intense love affair ensues. The sudden frequency of intimate physical contact causes Dru to reflect upon the last eleven and a half months with shock and disgust. In his final blog entitled "Why in gods name did anyone let me do this?" Dru expresses regret and anger. He ends the project with the following message to his fans:

Dear Readers of The Year of Blog,

You are all sheep. I've wasted a year of my life and you have too. I got a blog for you... its called I'm going to make love to my new girlfriend for the next couple hours.

Get Bent.

Dru out.

P.S. You know whats not funny? Pictures from the movie "Up" turned upside down and called "Down." Not fucking funny AT ALL!!!!!!!

Result:
Fails... but sort of wins in the end. Its a happy ending to my blog.

And then there was Chipotle...

2009-06-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

For Dru Johnston, dedicating twelve months of your life to a "project of passion" is no match for a Carnita with naturally raised pork, seasoned with thyme, bay leaves, juniper berries and freshly cracked black pepper - seared, then braised for hours. After seven months, he quits The Year of The Blog and starts the "Burrito-A-Day" project. After only two weeks Dru quits the "Burrito-A-Day" project because he doesnt want to limit his burrito intake.

Result:

FAILURE ON AN EXTREME LEVEL AND MASSIVE BATHROOM TIME POOPING HE FAILS I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Hey did you know I was in the New York Post!??!?!?!"

2009-06-12T10:00:00.000-07:00

After six months of hard work, Dru quits posting a new blog everyday and just continues his one sustainable blog. The blog is called "List of people who were not written about in the New York Post this year." The blog slowly breaks down and becomes less of a blog and more of a list of names with sarcastic comments. Unfortunately, Dru passes away a month later due to massive bleeding from paper cut injuries due to flaunting his New York Post article in everyone's faces.

Result:
DRU FAILS BIG TIME HE SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He will get horribly lost...

2009-06-12T07:28:00.000-07:00

4 months into the blog project, Dru decides to follow his real passion: The show Lost. He catches what he believes is Oceanic Airlines Flight 815 en-route to Sydney, Australia. Oddly enough, the plane does crash and he does wake up on a tropical island. After one day on the Island, Dru realizes he is not in the world of Lost though, but rather the world of the show Two Guys, A girl and A Pizza Place. Dru eats the Pizza, befriends the two guys, and definitely is aware the girls existence.

Result:
DRU FAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!